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Title: Schoolyard Romance
Rating: G
Pairings: McCoy/various
Warnings: None
Notes: Unbetaed. Written for this prompt at the kink meme.
1. When Leonard McCoy was six years old, Susie Brown had chased him around the schoolyard, punched him in the stomach and made him eat dirt. Every day for a week. When he told his mother, she just smiled in that weird, knowing way of adults everywhere when they know something and just aren’t telling. The next day, Susie Brown declared that he was her boyfriend and gave him a kiss…before chasing him around the schoolyard, punching him in the stomach, and making him eat dirt.
Looking back on it, he thought that this incident might have somehow set the tone for a lot of his romantic interactions. It was probably his own fault for marrying the girl when he was in med school.
2. After his divorce, he found that he didn’t feel like bothering with all the work a social life required. Dating was just right out.
Still, it was impossible to become a complete recluse when one was friends with Jim Kirk. He would steamroller over any protests, offer outrageous bribes, or just work a tried and true pout until he got what he wanted. Usually, Bones would end up in a bar drinking something numbingly alcoholic and watching his friend trying to pick up anything that moved.
It was at least entertaining, especially if Uhura was there. Bones couldn’t help the little feeling of schadenfreude that welled up in him every time she knocked Jim down a peg. Someone had to keep him honest, or he’d never be able to fit his swelled head on a starship.
He never did figure out why she sat next to him one night, why she chatted with him while they watched Jim put the moves on some leggy alien across the room. She smiled and laughed, and leaned in close when he spoke, close enough that her long hair would brush against his shoulder. Occasionally, she would reach over and give his hair a tug to draw his attention to something she wanted to point out or share a joke about.
Bones was about to ask, when Jim chose that moment to get thrown into a table by some thick-necked behemoth that was probably the leggy alien’s boyfriend. He could only share a rueful smile with her before going over to attempt to save his friend’s ass.
3. The Enterprise isn’t really that big. Once he’d been on it for a couple of months, he had grown used to seeing the same walls and the same people every day. Still, he couldn’t figure out what Chekov was doing so far away from the bridge and why he always seemed to be lingering near the medical bay.
For awhile, Bones speculated on what sort of embarrassing ailment the Ensign might have, and made a bet with himself about how long it would take Chekov to work up the stones to say something about it.
He started noticing Chekov staring over at him when he was taking his meals. Then Chekov seemed to be in the corridor near Bones’ quarters almost as often as he was hovering around the medical bay.
It took Bones an embarrassingly long time to diagnose the problem, and he might never have figured it out if his usual nod of greeting hadn’t been met with a blush and stammering. It dawned on Bones with the subtlety of a freight train and the problem was worse than he’d expected.
Puppy love.
There was no way around it, so the next time Bones saw Chekov lingering near his office, he pulled him inside, poured him a drink and gave him the talk.
“Look kid, I understand what’s going on.”
“You do,” Chekov said, his eyes wide and somehow looking even younger than usual.
“You’re a nice kid,” Bones said, “but I’m too old for you. Way too old for you.”
Chekov looked like he was getting ready to protest, and Bones held up his hand to silence him. “Once you stop following me around all the time, I’m sure you’ll meet someone more appropriate. But I’m not it.”
Bones congratulated himself on letting the kid down gently, and shooed him out of his office. And if he noticed that the ensign’s eyes were particularly shiny and moist, he chose not to say anything about it.
4. Bones liked Scotty. He was a bit odd, and the green thing that was always hanging around gave Bones the creeps, but he was willing to overlook these small details for anyone who was generous with their stash of whiskey.
One night, they were shooting the breeze over a glass down in engineering. Scotty was in the middle of a particularly bizarre anecdote about the time he created a neutrino field in an old tin of baked beans for purposes which Bones hadn’t really managed to catch, when he felt a sharp pain in his shin.
“Ow! What the hell was that for?” He glared down at Scotty’s little green friend as if he was expecting some sort of explanation.
Scotty laughed. “Aww,” he said. “Keenser likes you! Keenser! What have I told you about flirting with the guests?” The weird little alien just looked at Scotty with shiny black eyes, before turning back to Bones and kicking him again. “Looks like someone has a wee crush,” Scotty said. “Just remember, he’s a biter,” he said to Bones before doubling up in laughter.
Bones downed the rest of his glass as quickly as possible, and made a hasty escape. Let Scotty worry about this one. He was a doctor, not an alien chew toy.
5. The notes were just a minor annoyance. They would show up on his desk, tucked here and there amongst the usual detritus that littered his space.
Do you like me? Check yes or no.
He might have been more inclined to take them seriously, if the person had ever bothered to attach a name or any indication of their identity. As it was, he just thought they were someone’s idea of a prank. Not a very good idea, but harmless.
He brushed them aside and didn’t give them a second thought. And if Jim’s smile was a little less bright after one had been delivered and ignored, Bones never noticed.
6. When Spock showed up at his door, he was surprised then worried.
“What is it,” he asked. “Is it Jim? Is he okay? Is someone dead? Are we falling into a black hole? Oh god, don’t tell me that we’re all going to die and I’m spending my last moments with you?”
The Vulcan raised an eyebrow very slightly in what passed for a facial expression, at least for him. “Your assumptions are most illogical. None of your suggested scenarios would require a personal visit when you could be summoned from the bridge or the medical bay.”
Bones scowled. “Pointy-eared bastard,” he grumbled under his breath.
He looked up and noticed something that was even more shocking than the personal visit from the ship’s First Officer. Spock was holding some sort of plant. He looked down at the plant, before looking up at the nearly expressionless man holding it, then staring down at the plant again.
“Is that a plant,” he finally asked, because this entire situation was already strange and Spock wasn’t offering any explanation.
“I am given to understand that it is customary to offer efflorescent, photosynthetic organisms as a signal of one’s intention to court,” Spock answered, the tips of his ears turning very slightly green.
“Efflorescent, photosynthetic organisms,” Bones muttered to himself, before catching on to the more important part of his companion’s response. “Wait, court,” he said, his eyes widening with shock.
“I was informed that our antagonistic interactions were an indication of,” he paused briefly, “sublimated sexual desire.” He cheeks joined his ears in gaining a green-ish tinge. If Bones hadn’t been so stunned, he might have been more amused that the normally stoic Vulcan seemed to be blushing.
”Oh yeah,” Bones said, raising an eyebrow. “Who told you that?”
“Captain Kirk, Lieutenant Uhura, and my own research confirmed the hypothesis.”
“So you brought me flowers.”
“It seemed the logical course of action,” Spock replied, inclining his head imperceptibly in confirmation.
Bones turned the entire surreal situation over in his head, before shrugging. “What the hell,” he said. He took the plant from Spock’s hands and deposited it on a table, before curling his fingers through Spock’s dark hair and pulling him into a kiss.
Rating: G
Pairings: McCoy/various
Warnings: None
Notes: Unbetaed. Written for this prompt at the kink meme.
1. When Leonard McCoy was six years old, Susie Brown had chased him around the schoolyard, punched him in the stomach and made him eat dirt. Every day for a week. When he told his mother, she just smiled in that weird, knowing way of adults everywhere when they know something and just aren’t telling. The next day, Susie Brown declared that he was her boyfriend and gave him a kiss…before chasing him around the schoolyard, punching him in the stomach, and making him eat dirt.
Looking back on it, he thought that this incident might have somehow set the tone for a lot of his romantic interactions. It was probably his own fault for marrying the girl when he was in med school.
2. After his divorce, he found that he didn’t feel like bothering with all the work a social life required. Dating was just right out.
Still, it was impossible to become a complete recluse when one was friends with Jim Kirk. He would steamroller over any protests, offer outrageous bribes, or just work a tried and true pout until he got what he wanted. Usually, Bones would end up in a bar drinking something numbingly alcoholic and watching his friend trying to pick up anything that moved.
It was at least entertaining, especially if Uhura was there. Bones couldn’t help the little feeling of schadenfreude that welled up in him every time she knocked Jim down a peg. Someone had to keep him honest, or he’d never be able to fit his swelled head on a starship.
He never did figure out why she sat next to him one night, why she chatted with him while they watched Jim put the moves on some leggy alien across the room. She smiled and laughed, and leaned in close when he spoke, close enough that her long hair would brush against his shoulder. Occasionally, she would reach over and give his hair a tug to draw his attention to something she wanted to point out or share a joke about.
Bones was about to ask, when Jim chose that moment to get thrown into a table by some thick-necked behemoth that was probably the leggy alien’s boyfriend. He could only share a rueful smile with her before going over to attempt to save his friend’s ass.
3. The Enterprise isn’t really that big. Once he’d been on it for a couple of months, he had grown used to seeing the same walls and the same people every day. Still, he couldn’t figure out what Chekov was doing so far away from the bridge and why he always seemed to be lingering near the medical bay.
For awhile, Bones speculated on what sort of embarrassing ailment the Ensign might have, and made a bet with himself about how long it would take Chekov to work up the stones to say something about it.
He started noticing Chekov staring over at him when he was taking his meals. Then Chekov seemed to be in the corridor near Bones’ quarters almost as often as he was hovering around the medical bay.
It took Bones an embarrassingly long time to diagnose the problem, and he might never have figured it out if his usual nod of greeting hadn’t been met with a blush and stammering. It dawned on Bones with the subtlety of a freight train and the problem was worse than he’d expected.
Puppy love.
There was no way around it, so the next time Bones saw Chekov lingering near his office, he pulled him inside, poured him a drink and gave him the talk.
“Look kid, I understand what’s going on.”
“You do,” Chekov said, his eyes wide and somehow looking even younger than usual.
“You’re a nice kid,” Bones said, “but I’m too old for you. Way too old for you.”
Chekov looked like he was getting ready to protest, and Bones held up his hand to silence him. “Once you stop following me around all the time, I’m sure you’ll meet someone more appropriate. But I’m not it.”
Bones congratulated himself on letting the kid down gently, and shooed him out of his office. And if he noticed that the ensign’s eyes were particularly shiny and moist, he chose not to say anything about it.
4. Bones liked Scotty. He was a bit odd, and the green thing that was always hanging around gave Bones the creeps, but he was willing to overlook these small details for anyone who was generous with their stash of whiskey.
One night, they were shooting the breeze over a glass down in engineering. Scotty was in the middle of a particularly bizarre anecdote about the time he created a neutrino field in an old tin of baked beans for purposes which Bones hadn’t really managed to catch, when he felt a sharp pain in his shin.
“Ow! What the hell was that for?” He glared down at Scotty’s little green friend as if he was expecting some sort of explanation.
Scotty laughed. “Aww,” he said. “Keenser likes you! Keenser! What have I told you about flirting with the guests?” The weird little alien just looked at Scotty with shiny black eyes, before turning back to Bones and kicking him again. “Looks like someone has a wee crush,” Scotty said. “Just remember, he’s a biter,” he said to Bones before doubling up in laughter.
Bones downed the rest of his glass as quickly as possible, and made a hasty escape. Let Scotty worry about this one. He was a doctor, not an alien chew toy.
5. The notes were just a minor annoyance. They would show up on his desk, tucked here and there amongst the usual detritus that littered his space.
Do you like me? Check yes or no.
He might have been more inclined to take them seriously, if the person had ever bothered to attach a name or any indication of their identity. As it was, he just thought they were someone’s idea of a prank. Not a very good idea, but harmless.
He brushed them aside and didn’t give them a second thought. And if Jim’s smile was a little less bright after one had been delivered and ignored, Bones never noticed.
6. When Spock showed up at his door, he was surprised then worried.
“What is it,” he asked. “Is it Jim? Is he okay? Is someone dead? Are we falling into a black hole? Oh god, don’t tell me that we’re all going to die and I’m spending my last moments with you?”
The Vulcan raised an eyebrow very slightly in what passed for a facial expression, at least for him. “Your assumptions are most illogical. None of your suggested scenarios would require a personal visit when you could be summoned from the bridge or the medical bay.”
Bones scowled. “Pointy-eared bastard,” he grumbled under his breath.
He looked up and noticed something that was even more shocking than the personal visit from the ship’s First Officer. Spock was holding some sort of plant. He looked down at the plant, before looking up at the nearly expressionless man holding it, then staring down at the plant again.
“Is that a plant,” he finally asked, because this entire situation was already strange and Spock wasn’t offering any explanation.
“I am given to understand that it is customary to offer efflorescent, photosynthetic organisms as a signal of one’s intention to court,” Spock answered, the tips of his ears turning very slightly green.
“Efflorescent, photosynthetic organisms,” Bones muttered to himself, before catching on to the more important part of his companion’s response. “Wait, court,” he said, his eyes widening with shock.
“I was informed that our antagonistic interactions were an indication of,” he paused briefly, “sublimated sexual desire.” He cheeks joined his ears in gaining a green-ish tinge. If Bones hadn’t been so stunned, he might have been more amused that the normally stoic Vulcan seemed to be blushing.
”Oh yeah,” Bones said, raising an eyebrow. “Who told you that?”
“Captain Kirk, Lieutenant Uhura, and my own research confirmed the hypothesis.”
“So you brought me flowers.”
“It seemed the logical course of action,” Spock replied, inclining his head imperceptibly in confirmation.
Bones turned the entire surreal situation over in his head, before shrugging. “What the hell,” he said. He took the plant from Spock’s hands and deposited it on a table, before curling his fingers through Spock’s dark hair and pulling him into a kiss.
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